Last year, when my 13 year-old son, Sam, staked his claim in adolescence and announced he wasn’t going to attend summer camp anymore, I panicked. As a single mom living in New York City, I couldn’t afford to send him to sleep away camp, nor could I leave my job as an administrator in one of the local colleges, pack the SUV (even if we had one), and head for Maine or Cape Cod for a month. Sam was too old for day camp and too young to work. What kind of TV addled X-box blurry-eyed puddle of sludge would I come home to find if I left him in the apartment all day?

Then I had an idea. Although Sam had put the kibosh on summer camp, why not take the opportunity to do something I’d always dreamed of doing myself: enroll us in a Spanish language immersion program, somewhere far away from the hot and sticky city? I’d always wanted to improve my embarrassing tourist Spanish, and Sam was already studying Spanish in middle school. What could be better than giving him a leg up before 9th grade?

On another blog it was suggested that I write a separate blog post about how I got away from the man who abused me. As you may know I have an outside hipmama blog called Beyond Battered that is about what I went through. I am getting my story out in bits and pieces...truthfully it is very hard to re-visit the mental state I was in at the time but I am finding it therapeutic.

I left after a 'minor' beating, meaning no skin breaking/bleeding,and no kicking. He 'just' pushed me into a wall, smacked me really hard several times and knocked me down. This was in response to him coming home and finding me on the phone. He had recently stopped taking the phone with him when he left and allowed me to use the phone again, so I thought it was ok to use the phone when he was gone. I was wrong in that belief and I paid for it that day.

1. Put that baby down before you spoil it. How exactly can you spoil a baby? They’re supposed to be dependent. The great thing about front packs and slings is that your baby can be exactly where she’s supposed to be and you still have your hands free.

We Are All Gifted and Talented

By Evelyn Hardesty

I'm in the fourth grade. I trudge slowly home to my apartment. Usually, I gallop home pretending I'm a mustang running free across a grassy plain. I'm passionate about horses, and mustangs are my favorite. I read everything I can about them. If I were tested on mustangs, I would get straight "A's."

But this is fourth grade and I'm not tested on mustangs. I'm tested on long division which I cannot grasp. The report card in my pocket has a "D" on it. Every time I touch it, I burn with shame. I dread telling my parents. The "C's" I often get are bad enough. This "D" adds the lead weight of "dunce" and 'dumb."

Welcome to hipmama.com! There have been lots of changes, so please take a moment to click around and check out all the options.

One of the first things you might notice is that you can now register to use the site. I promise that your confidential information will not be shared or sold - registration is in place to enhance the experience of people who want to participate at a deeper level. If you are mainly interested in reading our feature stories they are still available without registration. You can also view our events listings, links to other sites, and vote on our polls.

The new design and registration process does not change existing email accounts at community.hipmama.com. That service is separate and you will need to register in both places to use all the tools.

Hipmama.com is an independent online magazine bursting with political commentary and ribald tales from the front lines of motherhood.

Published by Bee Lavender, the site started as a forum for young mothers, single parents, and marginalized voices, but has grown to represent progressive families of all varieties. Hip Mama maintains the editorial vision that qualified it for the title "conservative America's worst nightmare."

" ...it is the quality of the writing that sets hipMama.com apart...This site ultimately provides succor to moms who cannot relate to our culture's mawkish notions of motherhood." -- The New Yorker

Bee Lavender says "I was radicalized by my experience of being a parent, yet never saw my story or any honest stories in the media. HipMama was the first parenting publication to explore the real experience of parenthood; not just the superficial aspects, but the true challenges and rewards of creating a family."

She notes that the web sites actively incubate real-life communities, as mothers who find each other on the Hip Mama sites organize in cities across the nation and world. "People come to Hip Mama looking for perspectives not offered elsewhere. We cover it all, from organic baby food to sexuality to chronic illness."

"No sanctified endorsement of the usual myths about motherhood here. No neat checklists of all-too-easy parenting solutions or slick write-ups of professional experts telling how it's supposed to be. Hip Mama speaks (and listens) to parents who want or need to raise kids their own way.... Hip Mama explores the real stuff of parenting with a proper recognition of the ambiguity of it all--and plenty of love and humanity." --The Utne Reader.

"Proof that being a mother doesn't have to be boring - or apolitical." -- Fast Company

The print version of the magazine was the brain child of Ariel Gore in 1993 as her senior project, a 500 copy publication created from a $1000 student loan. The print zine quickly gained national renown and a large audience of fans. Ariel has evolved from the welfare mom who debated Newt Gingrich on MTV to an established and sought-after expert on child rearing.

"Bee Lavender-- writer, activist, mother of two-- is definitely hot. She is the very embodiment of extreme motherhood." -Borders.com

Bee Lavender joined the project in 1997. While publishing Hipmama.com, Bee also conceived new sites like Girl-Mom, a site for teen parents, and Mamaphonic, an arts resource site (and book of the same name). She is the creative force behind the dynamic online community and many large scale collaborative events such as the historic Hip Mama Gathering.

"The reigning mother superiors of the crowd are Ariel Gore and Bee Lavender..."--Time Magazine

Bee and Ariel co-edited Breeder: Real Life Stories from a New Generation of Mothers.

Bee is the author of a critically acclaimed memoir about danger titled Lessons in Taxidermy. She is also the co-editor of an anthology about creativity and parenting, Mamaphonic. Previously she authored the cult zine series A Beautiful Final Tribute.

Ariel is the author of The Hip Mama Survival Guide, The Mother Trip, Atlas of the Human Heart, and Whatever Mom.

These titles can be purchased at a bookstore near you.

Providing a forum for fresh, authentic writing from the trenches of motherhood is Hip Mama's mission.

Publisher | Bee Lavender
Executive Producer Hipmama.com | Susan A. Presley
Editor Hipmama.com | Maria Rowan
Producer, Girl-Mom.com | Christi Birch
Producer, Mamaphonic.com | Susan A. Presley
Technical Assistance courtesy of Lynn Siprelle
Design & Graphics by Xtina Lamb

Hipmama.com and Hip Mama: the parenting zine operate independently, and enquiries should be addressed accordingly.

Bee Lavender
Hip Mama (online)
7 Ronald Rolph Court
Wadloes Road
Cambridge
CB5 8PX

Looking for the print zine? Click here

Interested in submitting work to the site? The best way to understand the publication is to read it.
Online publication info:

• The online zine does not accept simultaneous submissions.
• Response time may be two days to a month, depending on the season of the year and editorial schedule.
• Submissions to the online zine should be emailed to tinker@hipmama.com.
• We accept submissions on all topics. Sorry, no fiction or poetry.

Need more information about the print publication? Click here.

Email tinker@hipmama.com for other questions or information.

HIP 1.adj. slang Aware; Informed. 2.n. The part of the human body projecting below the waist on either side, formed by the upper part of the femur. [Old English hype] 3.n. A place where young children sit when tired of walking. 4.n. The fruit (red when ripe) of a wild rose. [Old English heope] 5. Whatever you want it to be.

MAMA 1. n. Mother, informal. [repetition of the infant sound MA] 2. n. One who has a maternal relationship to, nurtures, puts up with, teaches, encourages, constructively yells at, sends money orders to, heats from a can or makes chicken soup for, is available for long talks with, and generally makes it her (his) business to take care of the next generation. 3. n. A quality or condition that gives rise to another.