Today I have to buy a bunch of snacks for my girlfriend's kids' New Years party, before all the stores close. This entails going to several stores in search of the flavor of Taki's (a kind of Mexican spicy neon colored chip) that is (seemingly) vegan. I am happy to do it, would do it on foot or bike or bus for that moment when they see that boring old granola Katie has brought them their treasured “junk” food.
Adam Pertman is a father, Pulitzer prize nominated journalist, and the author of several books on adoption. Adam took time to talk to This Manic Mama about the changing face of the adoption system.
In the latest episode This Manic Mama talks to Cole Caljouw, a 34 year old Female to Male transmom of two, stepdad to two more, and law student extraordinaire. Check out the resource links for information about FTM issues, touring performances, and a story from the archives!
May 26, 1948- July 2, 2009
There's a kaleidoscope in the conservatory where I've stopped with my daughters. There's a circular bed of sand with sticks and rocks, and above, the lenses and mirrors. We shift the sand around and look, and each time the picture is different. If you look deep inside a kaleidoscope, what you see is the ocean of patterns of light, surrounded by a rim of darkness, curving away like night falling.
Someday I'll have to have the "where do babies come from" talk with my children. My oldest is five years old, and I try to work in basic plumbing information about uteruses, penises, eggs, and sperm. I've given him the basics about his parentage, which is a bit complicated. His biological father is not involved, nor is he interested in being. I am divorced from the Daddy he's known since he was born, and he lives with me and my partner, who functions as a step-parent to him.
He also neglects to note that the kids most frequently adopted by same-sex couples tend to be deemed other than desirable by mainstream (straight) society; perhaps he doesn't know enough gay parents to know about the kinds of kids they adopt. One couple in Florida had parented several kids who were HIV positive or living with AIDS for years, some of the children since infancy, only to find themselves in danger of losing those children when that state passed an ant-gay adoption measure. Surely the kids in question were better left in the home they had come to know and love and in which they felt safe - irrespective of the particular stripes of their living room sofa.
The stigma still exists. The saying remains among black folks that we do not see therapists. "Chile only needs a kick in the ass. That should straighten her up!" "There's nothing wrong with her. Should just quit acting a fool!" There is a saying that black folks do not have nervous breakdowns, that we are not entitled to have them. Our mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers did not have them, neither should we. Look at our history. They have been though more than you ever will. Bullshit.