still in the infancy of my third child, i often wonder about what i am giving her. in some ways i feel i am shortchanging her, in other way i feel she i getting more than my older two got from me.

this time in my life is busy. i work five nights a week waitressing at great resturants. alcohol is ubiquitous. i feel like i am shortchanging my youngest because i drink booze and caffeine. i am still breastfeeding, though my milk supply isnt as strong this time around. my baby girl gets organic formula while i work. sometimes i feel guilty about giving her formula though i know it would be much worse to make her starve.

on the other hand i feel i am a much better tempered mama. i can care for her all day long with less frustrastion. i hold her and love her with greater stamina. she gets what he needs emotionally from me in ways that i had difficulty with my older two. she is incredibly well tempered and is a happy and healthy baby.

so i guess this is a lesson in parenting. the give and take. the stuff i never read in books... the way to weigh the emotional and physical nutrition of both baby and mama.

any mamas feel that what they have to offer their children has been different with each child? how has you been different? how does that make you feel?