i just dont know what to do. this is totally silly, but my mind keeps going back to it non-the-less.

three years ago, we had a rough autumn. our baby girl was just 6 weeks old when my husband's best friend died in a house fire. four weeks later was our wedding, two weeks after that my dear dear uncle died rather abruptly. woah! huh!
it was all i could do in that time to remain sane. my emotions were swirling all over the place as i faced life, love and death so closely. when i got back from my uncle's funeral there was this weird air about. come to find out it was because of a conversation had between the brother of the dear friend who died and another close friend.

the brother said "you know we really need to be there for J and the girls, huck is going to die in three years." i didnt know what to make of it. was it a preminition, misinformation or was he just talking out of his ass? i am still unsure of the motivation, but it struck a chord within me. one of the sore spots in my relationship with my husband is his fear that i will disappear. whether it is because i wander off or if my health finally collapses, this has been a serious hurdle for us. to be honest, something in my intuitive side seems to feel that i will go before him. i just pray that isnt for a long time.

so its been three years. i had managed to ignore it for a while, but now that the anniversary of that time is approaching i find it swirling around in my head everyday.