1. YAY: We're still technically looking for a house but found a great place in a good neighborhood in our price range with a flexible move in date and a dishwasher and we have to wait awhile to find out if it's ours or not. We found a great place on a busy street with too close neighbors and some issues with the landlord remodeling the lower unit and we find out tomorrow if we got it. Here comes the arg, I don't want to say no to #2 if the other place doesn't choose us and I think I may have called #1 too many times and they are probably irritated with me. Vibe me that if it's the right one we get the first one. i'm totally in love with it.

2. ARG: My cousin is kinda falling apart. She and I got into a weird argument and it's been weighing on me heavily. We are generally very close but our communication has been spotty at best since I've been back in the states and I can see she's suffering. I added to it by being a bitch when she got on my case about something I felt could have been avoided. It's been weird since. YAY: I sent her a loving, compassionate, sincere email because I don't have time in my life for hate and anger. (THANKS POB for talking up that book "Anger" it's rad).

3. ARG: Vacation was kind of a bust in some ways. Lots of me getting left behind and alone with the kids in the middle of nowhere. Since we've been back my kids are freaking because I'm freaking (WE HAVE TO MOVE, NOW?!?!)and because one is teething and the other has been through a tonne of transition lately including being exposed to her paternal grandmother for three weeks. Those who have been following the in-law saga know that this is a frightening prospect. The MIL dealt with her by letting her doing absolutely anything and everything she wanted to do even if it meant getting in harms way, while putting on a learned helplessness attitude that often made me want to run her over with my (borrowed) car. And let's not forget her very 1950's outlook on marriage and family. She was caught saying things like "Dee, you are so wild, you shouldn't be so wild, you're a girl" (to which I responded "Dee, I like that you are wild" and "Boys will be boys" in response to some irresponsible behaviour on the part of my FIL. YUCK. YAY: My Step-mom gave us use of her lake house for nearly 3 weeks, and spent a lot of time helping with the kids (in a much more caring and awesome way) and spent time with me and my in-laws. The reception was really nice and I saw people I love dearly and reaffirmed why I have these ppl in my life. Plus the kids were SO AWESOME on the plane ride home (we came back 4 days after DH) and I handled all potential issues with great aplomb. I rock too.

4. ARG: My current landlord chose to give us 30 days rather than fix a small counter in the kitchen (that is literally falling to pieces, I mean it, pieces are falling off) and a back door with holes in it, while freaking out on me and sending me nastygrams saying I was demanding "cosmetic" repairs and now she's having the neighbour totally redo the bottom front porch which was pretty much ok and looked totally fine because now they've decided to kick us out and sell the place. Good luck wacko. YAY: We will no longer have to deal with her shit and I keep telling myself we'll end up somewhere better. (Inside I'm freaking but I still count this as a yay).

5. YAY: I'm going to Oaxaca in December with Ariel Gore -and some other lady writers!! OMG! I can't believe I got the spot and holy cow I even paid for the trip (minus airfare - I used my computer fund) ARG: bad fucking timing now that I have to move but hey, maybe the flight is cheaper from the pac nw (which we are considering if we can't find a decent place here).

Please vibe me that my baby stops screaming, my Dee stops freaking and my husband loves me through all of this. Also house vibes would be rad, I know I've asked for a lot but I really need to not feel completely upheaved and if I now where I'm being heaved to I feel much, much better.

love you all!!!