it has been a activity filled summer. i feel that my family has been fruitful with the mania of summer, and come fall, we will have much to be thankful for and ready for a rest.

this week was one of the first when our place has felt like a serious (albeit underground) venue. we learned a lot and i am much happier with the result than i could have imagined at the beginning of the week.

long story
i ended work on saturday night with a fight with my boss. i discovered that i took a pay cut that he had never mentioned to me. fucking sucks that he would treat me this way. i have worked there longer than any body else, and this is the thanks i get? the horror story just piles up and up and up against this guy. how can this guy be such an asshole? i accepted a long time ago that he is an asshole and because i love his place i have stay through it. we have just reached a point where thats not enough.

ANYWAY... we fought on saturday night, and i was so excited to leave because at home there was a big party. we have an apartment and a small warehouse with a big parking lot space to gather outside (so nice that our daughters a asleep so close while we can let loose at night.)

i got home to the party to find my husband WASTED! i have seen my husband drunk many, many nights. i have seen him wasted on many many occasions. this was something different. he started telling me about how the russians had done this to him. i thought he was speaking metaphorically, but later i found out he wasnt. a few brawny russian dudes crashed our party with two bottles of grey goose. apparenty they were forcing him to drink and blasting euro trash dance music.

soon after i got home all three of our daughters woke up very upset. i tried to find him to help, but he was not accessible. i soothed the girls to a peaceful sleep and stepped outside READY to wind down... when i see my husband outside, stumbling at the top of the stairs.

thats when i deiced he was done for the night.i brought him inside to have a glass of water before he passed out. he sat in the kitchen but couldnt get the glass to his mouth. i tried to make him eat a burnt tortilla in order to get the charchol in is stomach and maybe get some of the poison out of him. he got belligerant and refused. i let him pass out an told him i would be back in an hour to make him drink some water (and be sure he was breathing).

i went outside READY to wind down when one of the russian dudes started moving the 40 ft ladder the boys left standing. this ladder is ridiculously top heavy and requires two capable, sober guys to move it, definetly not safe with this drunk russian. he rested it in the most sketchy manner against the warehouse. i shouted in my mom voice to "get the fuck off the ladder" to no avail. eventually he climbed into the second story of the warehouse.then a second drunk russian did the same thing! i was pissed! fortunately they left shortly after that.

i went back to check on my husband. i tried to wake him up, he couldnt wake up, though he was mumbling at me. he would seem like he was waking up for a spilt second, then he'd slip away. i struggled with him for such a long time, propped him up with my body. tried to convince him to drink water, he would not physically respond, until with his hulk strength he out of nowhere, he picked up the end table and threw it across the room onto his laptop.

it was a hard night for me to say the least. when i eventually went to bed i layed awake for hours trying to understand what had happened and if i made the right choices. in the morning i told my husband what had happened. i wanted him to be punished, though before i even finished the story i realized how much this event had woken him up.

he had been drinking recreationally for some time and recently decided that it wasnt what he wanted to be doing. then this, the scariest drinking expierience i have witnessed: his pupils had disappeared, he couldnt physically hold his head up... shit was fucked up.

that day was mellow and very reflective. i worked at my second waitressing job and it was so dead, i didnt make my easy goal in order to make the mortgage. i left early and got to be home for our girls bedtime (something i often miss.) and my husband and i went to bed at the same time. for months he has been staying up late fixing the house and drinking beers and hanging out with all the folks we have hear making this place come together.

it was so nice to go to bed at the same time.

the rest of the week has been great around here. we have been getting a lot cleaned up and more like a real venue... all the while my husband has sworn off booze. though it is different this time. he has never had a problem with his drinking. he can drink regularly and still be a great guy. this event on saturday was rare. but this time i get a sense from him that is differnt than ever before.

he is in his venue now. he needs to maintain control in order to insure that every thing goes right and no assholes take over our place. there is a confience in him while he is sober that i never saw before. i think because he works so hard, all day, on making this place successful, come night, he doesnt want to fuck it all up.

tonight we had our first dr sketchys anti art school event in our venue. we have been throwing this event for the last year and a half at the restraunt i love and work at with the boss who is an asshole.

the participation weigned at the old venue, so i was nervous to see how it would turn out in our own place. it was awesome. about two dozen artists came to draw. it was a great group, well mannered, good spirits...my husband was a great emcee and it was so nice, at the end of the night. to say goodnight and him not be wasted.

i havent really had a problem with his drinking, but now his not drinking has been so awesome. he is more present with us as a family. it is really nice to have him here. and though i never wish to ever face a night like saturday again, i am glad it was effective.