Thanks for the advice and comments. I suppose it isn't that I would actually cheat, I could have before and what I have now is just too valuable to me. It is just such an intense feeling of recklessness, sex is only one part of it. I wish I could channel it to DH. Well, maybe I can.
But its also this desire to lead a different sort of life, a less content life, an edgy life that would make me miserable, but be exciting... Or just to pretend to on a Saturday night.
KWIM?
Mummy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird...

here is what i would do, because i totally suspect that when i go back to work, i'm going to be faced with the same fantasies and flirting opportunities... i would indulge the FUCK out of my imagination. i prolly would only lightly flirt with the ladies and fellas, nothing that would send them a message that i would cheat. but i would flirt. a little. and i would tell hal about all this, too, so he can play into my fantasy when we are fucking (by talking dirty and creating a 3rd person fantasy). i've cheated on hal twice before we were married (we've been together for 14 years, now. he was 18 and i was 19 when we hopped on this road together). once two weeks after we got together and once when i first moved to chicago at age 24. i could have cheated again at age 29 but instead played with the boundary lines a bit - blurred them and did things like slept in the same bed with my guy friend without doing ANYTHING but sleep. that wasn't cool AT ALL. and i won't ever do that again. all these outside relationships happened because hal has been the only man i've had a "relationship" with. i've had friends with benefits and casual sex before, but hal is my only real relationship. i had to go through all that and am lucky (seriously) that hal has been able to forgive me and understand me. now, at this point in my life, i've had enough experiences where i feel like i've "lived a little" in that area of my life and really find it fucking hawt to be with hal. so, i know your curiosity. i bet if i had your curiosity at this point in our lives, i wouldn't cheat. my ethics were a little fucked UP then, but now they are where they need to be. as i suspect yours are, too. its really fucked up and selfish to cheat, its better to LIVE THE FANTASY to its fullest with your partner (you'd be surprised how kinky our guys can get after that many years together! or maybe you wouldn't be ). hal and i have even discussed adding a 3rd person to the mix at some point in our lives. anyhoo... you fantasies are normal and don't be afraid of em', really, embrace them. i know you know this... they are a part of life, you dh prolly has a few of his own... share with each other and hopefully your relationship is able to steam up in passion because of those fantasies. even tho hal is an italian stallion in the sack, a little fantasy goes a long way.. and makes for a great orgasim!

"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong."

- Laura Stavoe Harm

I get what you mean, but wonder if you would actually feel free if you slept with one of these random guys. In what ways would it be freeing? How would it make you feel? Perhaps you can get those same feelings doing something else, without jeopardizing your health or your marriage...which includes your children's stability.

I don't think your feelings are bad at all. maybe try sharing them with your husband, you might be pleasantly surprised at his response *eyewink*

MSPmedia
No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.
Alice Walker

This may sound cheesy but why don't you make a plan with DH to meet in a bar, dress all sexy and tease each other then head out to the car, alley or where ever and do unspeakable things to each other.

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

Maybe you should talk to DH about this. You aren't wanting to REALLY cheat, right? Because you know how bad that would be for you, your marriage and your family. It's just, you're thinking about it? Maybe there's just a little spark missing right now. I totally get that, we can't be head over heels in love all the time! We'd be exhausted.

This doesn't make you bad. This doesn't mean your marriage is in trouble. Maybe you all just need to talk about it and see if perhaps you can shake things up a bit.

i love how honest and open you are. it is amazing.
that is a very LONG time to be with one person! i don't have any advice, just in awe of your "voice". i'm no where near the same amount of time with my husband, but we've been together 10 almost 11 years, and i'm only 29. so, i am familiar with having the fleeting feelings of wandering eye and lust for change and the desire to sometimes do things like completely cut loose but still be able to reign it in even though i, too am happy, more than happy.
these feelings ebb and flow and i know this is natural and more common than i think.
thanks for sharing and making me think.