The slowness of the weekdays has me anticipating the weekends with Hal. Weekend where arrrrre yoooooou??? I love his new Monday-Friday, 9-5:30 schedule (unless he goes in early, then he gets off early!). He bought us tickets for the first showing (one of em' anyway) of Batman, Saturday early afternoon. I'm so excited! And as Hal and I like to exclaim to one another, "Something to live for! Alright!"

Planning a potluck - need to send those invites out soon! Not much to plan, really, just sending out e-mail invitations and keeping the house clean so I don’t have to do a major cleaning before the party. This is a potluck with my “non-parent” friends. In other words, very low maintenance.

You may think its obnoxious to separate the two worlds, but trust me - its easier for me that way. Inviting kids to the pot luck changes the environment dramatically. I have not actually had a party at my house with all (any of?) my parenting friends. What does this say about me? Honestly, I dunno. I really don’t want to accommodate several other toddlers in my home.

The toddler crowd is high maintenance (in some ways, low in others) and when I have a party I don’t want notin’ to do with High Maintenance. I want to relax. Sit back. And let the other adults around me play with my kids. I love seeing Max & Bella getting attention from other adults. I love seeing another person's face light up because of something my kids are doing. The exchange is always hilarious and enjoyable.

I could handle maybe one other friend/couple with their children - but a whole slew of friends with toddlers? Fuck that. I’ll leave that kind of Master Planning to my mommy friends who are good at it and have houses without staircases sporting broken gates. We have a so-called safety gate at the top of our steps that one has to step over and not be rough with as it may come unhinged. Hopefully, however, it will be changed out for a new gate, soon.

Hey, that’s it! Its my HOUSE that isn’t kid friendly! NOT ME! Our kitchen, living room, two bedrooms and two bathrooms are up a flight of stairs. Its not kid safe. The parents would constantly worry about their child hanging around the gate (which you know will make the kids WANT to climb the gate). And you all know how I feel about being outside this time of year (uh, fuck that). If I had a different home, maybe I’d be having more house parties with all my friend’s and their children. I really do love other kids. When they play with my kids. Or, maybe it is me?

A part of me can’t wait for my kids to be older so they are the ones with the responsibility of picking their friends and inviting whom they want over. I don’t want to come off as sounding as if I don’t enjoy the company of other women whilst in the midst of our children. I do. I just would love to spend more time with them sans our children.

Not working outside the home, I have an intense craving for adult camaraderie. If I did work outside the home in an environment I liked, my social world would be different. In a lot of ways, more enriched. I would prolly crave more time with my kids and really appreciate the time I spent with them, because it would be less. Not saying that I want to work outside the home right now. Fuck that. However, I can still appreciate the quality of life that one has when she does. Having your kids around other children for most of the day or trading off parenting time with your partner, working, and appreciating the time you do spend with your kids - sounds like the modern day village to me.

I understand that both working and stay at home moms have unique challenges and bliss's.

While every family is different, every family finds their way, and I know there isn’t one way to do everything… I will always dream of a place where the adults live closer, the adults are all family and friends, and everyone freely roams from one home to the other. A place where the doors are never locked. A place where you don’t feel you are putting someone out if they take your kids and a place where I feel confident about other people’s kids in my care. A place that nurtures family living without trashing single life or putting pressure on everyone to have a family. A place where single and child-free folks honor families instead of seeing this lifestyle as a hindrance to freedom and independence.

I have all these dreams. So now I have to ask myself, What the FUCK am I doing to make them a reality? What I can, my friends. What I can.