That tub o goodies looks awesome! I think all the kiddos will love it.

The wise poet Rumi tells us--
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there

So I'm going with the tub o goodies. I rehit the garage sale I was at yesterday and made an offer of 5 bucks for a box of thirty Beenie Babies (some still with tags). ALL gently used. I also bout 2 bucks worth of creepy crawly rubber bugs. I'm going to cut a hole in a decorated cardboard box and let them pull ONE out. No choosing, no looking SUPRISE!
etc.

7 BUCKS total.

Creepies (M taking for a spin)

I just listened to this podcast a couple of weeks ago and they addressed this exact issue (among other kid party etiquette issues). I can't remember all that they said as it was loads of information, but most of it ran along with what someone else said about parents needing to mention an extra kid when they RSVP, otherwise, tough luck. As far as for my son's parties, most of his friends have siblings who are close to his age anyway, so he's already friends with them too, thus we haven't really hit this snag yet. Hearing what the other moms have to say is definitely providing me with some useful tips for later on down the line.
Here's the link to the podcast:
http://manicmommies.com/2008/06/birthday_party_mania.html

something first. I agree with POB that the family should be welcome, but also feel that since this is a party for the 5 year olds, any other kids should at least be announced beforehand (a simple call, "hey, is it alright if I bring jimmy too?" should be expected, you know?). Also, parents should instruct the noninvited kids that this is not "their" party. Just showing up with extra kids with no warning would be like if I were invited to your house for dinner and I brought my neighbors and their kids without asking first. But people will do what they do...

Here's what I would do: I'd do goody bags for all of the kids that RSVP'd plus maybe 2-4 more for the kids whose parents forgot to RSVP. Then I'd get something cheap/simple (coloring books?) to have for sibs but I wouldn't go overboard (get like 5 and get them at the dollar store). While I agree that they should not expect anything (and the bigger the age difference, the more likely the sibs will bring a gameboy and sit in a corner the whole time anyway) it might be nice to have something to occupy them. They can use whatever pile of crayons/markers you keep around the house while they are at the party and hang out with the other sibs...the idea being that it would certainly be very nice of you to provide them with something but you are absolutely under no obligation.

One thing you might want to have a lot of extras of is cupcakes -- as long as you aren't doing something super fancy/time consuming in decorating them, it doesn't take much effort to make extras and some of the moms/dads will eat them also.

I made some little one's for ds's party today, but I'm not super concerned about it. I don't think that goodie bags are even a requirement at birthday parties, and the ones I got as a kid were just a lot of junk that ended up in the garbage.
Seems like if a lot of siblings are coming that cake and party should be enough...

"Fundamentally the markswoman aims at herself" DT Suzuki

BUT you HIT it on the head. I'm having a party for 5 year old girls (and a couple four year old boys). I bought some really cute wooden chickens and eggs at a garage sale yesterday fo 10 cents each. I fugured the little wood toys with, maybe a lollipop would be a cute party favor. What 8 year old boy wants that? Yet, I now feel the pressure to supply small gifts for the *older* sibs.

i personally hate goody bags. they usually contain junk food and junk toys. and i'm stuck with taking it home and throwing it out. i like having a bowl of junk toys for the kids to grab at their own leisure during the party. usually they play with the toys at the party and leave them behind. pick toys that go with your theme.

if you must have your goody bag... make a few extra if you know siblings will be there. i wouldn't go to a party that didn't invite my whole family. i think its rude to invite one kid who has to have parental supervision and not include the whole family. that puts pressure on the parents to find care for their other kids. when the kids get older and can attend alone, that is something different.

"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong."

- Laura Stavoe Harm

When my kids were younger, and one was invited to a birthday party, many times I had to take both kids because I wouldn't be able to get a baby sitter for the uninvited or I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the invited one alone at the party. When I would throw a party for my kids I would always address the invite to the kid and his/her family. However, I did not do goody bags. I had a large container, depending on party theme, (like once it was the back of a big toy dumptruck) that I filled with little "stuff" and allowed each kid to pick an item.
Also, if I took an uninvited sibling to a party, I would always make sure and tell the partygivers beforehand, and I would let the kids know that one kid might get a bag and one would not, and not to argue about it because I was going to make them share it anyway.
that all sounds confusing!

The wise poet Rumi tells us--
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there

my girls are so close in age that I imagine they will have many of the same friends.
however in the case of a 8 year old boy going to a 5 year old girls birthday party and expecting a goody bag- I think not! if older sibs like that do come to the party they need to understand that the party is not for them. They are lucky if they get fed lol.
I wouldn't expect a goody bag for him.

we've got to let love rule
~l. kravitz

login or register to post comments | email this page