I went to the shrink yesterday. It was interesting, to say the least. I have been diagnosed now with bipolar I disorder, not based on what's going on now exactly...but because of episodes that happened as a teenager and in my early twenties.

They recommended talk therapy that begins July 9th; I'm starting on two meds: Lamictal (very low dose: 25 mg that will increase slowly over 2-3 week intervals) and Haldol, which is 1 mg as needed. They have explained the risks and benefits, and they are so pro-therapy along with the meds (good thing I am going to a university doctor. One doc is a resident, which provides a fresh perspective, and the director of the psychiatry dept. He is a straight shooter, very to the point, very knowledgeable, intellegent. I felt comfortable and at ease...

The Haldol is optional and as needed. The Lamictal is "mandatory". Lithium is the alternative if Lamictal doesn't work. Since I am diabetic, they wanted to try Lamictal before Lithium. Apparently, from the research I've done and from what they have explained to me, it can make blood sugars go up higher than they should be, and with me being pregnant, I don't need to be on more insulin than absolutely necessary, especially in this trimester.

As a teenager and in my earlier 20s, I was prone to extremely reckless behavior, as I can be now (but not often and only when I have been depressed). I have been horrible with money in the past (not paying bills when I have had the money, just blowing it on things...that did change dramatically when I had my children and finished my degree). During school, pregnancy (now), I can go days without sleeping more than a couple of hours a night. My anxiety is horrible; my depression is just as bad. Of course, my father's diagnosis does play a role, but with this psychiatrist doesn't focus on it as much as people have in the past.

The talk therapy is to see if my past and my deeper feelings support this diagnosis. I'm looking forward to working it out. I have more hope than I have in awhile.

Thank you for your support and your help. It's made a MASSIVE difference.