Turns out, there’s not much more to say about my dad’s visit. It was a shock, I got over said shock, and enjoyed his one day visit. I learned a lot about the history of my family, the reason for the demise of my parent’s relationship, and dad’s history. I saw myself in him, both the parts I love (honesty, candidness) and hate (prideful, hardness).

When he pulled up into my driveway, unannounced (he was suppose to call when he left his hotel), I was like, “no he didn’t,” still seething in all that anger. I walked outside, he and his girlfriend got of his bike, and we embraced. The first time in 22 fucking years. All my anger fell away. I let it. I said to him, “you fucker for not letting me know sooner that you were coming!” He laughed. His girlfriend smartly stuck by my side saying, “I told him to call you weeks ago. He’s so stubborn! HE WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.” She won me over almost instantly.

He was nearly in tears holding Bella and seeing Max. I think he was holding them back with me, too. He’s a tough biker dude (not of the gangster type, more of the loner type). His girlfriend suggested we go out to lunch together and she’d stay behind with Hal and the kids. Later I found out she let Hal relax while she took over playing and entertaining Max & Bella. Dad and I went to a local diner and he filled me with history. Some I already knew, lots I did not. His company was easy. His words comforting.

We came back to my house and spent the afternoon with the kids. At night, Hal stayed home with Max & Bella while dad, his girlfriend, and I went out to a local beer and wine bar for drinks. This is were the truths had time, space and energy to come out. There was no anger to be found in me. It was all in my head before he showed up and none of it was in my heart. I loved this man like the father he never was to me. I’m happy for our reconnection.

And, now I know exactly which parent I get my impulsiveness from.