Right now I'm sitting at a great local coffee shop (the one I got hit on in a few weeks ago...the guy is here again but didn't notice me this time) and getting some much needed alone time. Papa is watching the kidlets. I pumped milk yesterday (because I went to a sewing class!) and so there's a bit in the fridge just in case. The kids were totally out when I left, giving papa some much needed quiet time. I'm volunteering Mondays at the coop (with baby K in a sling!) and last Thursday while hanging out (for mama alone time!) I sat in on a volunteer training session and the Volunteer coordinator asked if I can do it every week! (It's so nice to be wanted and appreciated...lol) I may actually consider this. DH and I have been having a rocky time of it but we had a much needed conversation (till 2 am!) on Friday and the love is returning. It seems every time I get to the point where I'm about to give up he and I work it out. I like this. We never get to that "it's over" point. I really hope we never do.
I'm leaving for San Jose Next Friday to go visit my step-mom, Sister, her ex, his wife and the combined kids as my Nephew is graduating HIGH SCHOOL (I'm so old!) next week and I'm attending his party. I haven't seen the kids in about 7 years(!) but I'm excited. I'm taking baby K. It'll be my first time away from Dee for any real length of time and I'm nervous and excited.
Dee has been sleeping in her big girl bed for naps and at night for 3 days now! I can't believe it! She did get up last night for a but and we had to get her back down but otherwise once she's in, she's totally asleep. I've been laying down with her for the first 10 minutes or so and it's been nice to cuddle and love on her again. We haven't "co-slept" in almost 2 years and I've missed it with her. I think it helps too because she always seems to want whatever the baby is getting, especially attention from me (she's even tried nursing a few times when baby K is latched on and I've had to talk her through why baby can do it and she can't...boy was that hard for me, 'cause part of me would really like to) so now we have this special time together that is only for her.
Baby K is just awesome. Totally smiley and sweet and cuddly. She's rolling over already! She also likes to stand with help and is doing a lot of pre-crawling and pre-walking, kicking her feet a lot and always trying to pull to a stand when we are holding her. She's sitting with help and sitting on her own for a few seconds at a time, it's AMAZING and a little strange for us, it seems early. Dee was sitting up at the stage but kinda stayed there for along time because of her size. K is so much smaller than Dee was and is WAY more mobile than Dee was at this age, though Dee has certainly made up for it now as she climbs EVERYTHING and is ALWAYS in motion.
Things are Good overall. As I said I took a sewing class, didn't learn much more than I already know but it was a good refresher and was a nice way to meet a few people and get out of the house. I'm taking another class after I get back and I have a machine and some cheap fabric and stuff so I'm working toward making Dee and K their own clothes. I'm hoping this will fill two roles, One - Keeping the clothing prices down and Two, Giving me something to do that I can find joy in and that doesn't require me to leave the house (thus giving me something to do when the weather is bad or the kids are sleeping).
We'll be heading back to Seattle for a couple weeks at the end of July/beginning of August. This is awesome and a bit overwhelming as I'm planning a small reception for family and friends so they can help us celebrate our 1 year anniversary (Since no one could get to Cyprus last year when we married). I'm so behind on everything so wish me luck on that.
I think That's about it. If you read this far, thanks. And for those wanting to know. Yes, I am glad I started taking the anti-depressants. It's amazing how much better my life is now that I'm not completely buried under pain and fear. It's still there but I'm finding skills to manage it now that it isn't all consuming. I'm also finally looking into some resources for the sexual abuse I've suffered, wish me luck on that, It's time to work through some of this but it's also very painful to look it in the eye. Thanks to all the mamas that have supported me over the (2!!) years I've been here. You all rock my socks off!

LM