About Us & WelcomeHip Mama is a magazine bursting with political Interested in subscribing to the print zine? Click Here If you're new here, please take a moment to click around and check out the options.
|
How do I talk to my son about this without shaming him?Submitted by Emile on Thu, 05/15/2008 - 12:39pm.
I just came home from dropping my 4 year old off at school. He goes to pre-kindergarten at a Catholic school a couple blocks from us. This morning the gym teacher pulled me aside, and said "I need to talk to you." It turns out that all year, my son has been putting his hands in his pants, front and back, and then the other kids refuse to hold hands with him during the games they play in gym. Gosh -- I guess that explains why he doesn't seem to have made any friends at this school. So any suggestions about how to make it absolutely clear that this is socially unacceptable, while at the same time not making him feel like he himself is disgusting? I'm so depressed about this, and feel so sorry for T. Would've been nice if the gym teacher had told about me about this earlier in the year... I agree, I think the teacher should have brought this up earlier. Does he not do it with you?. I would tell him that it's ok to touch yourself, but we do it in private. Touching our booty may spread germs and other kids don;t like germs...something like that? He's only 4, they touch themselves. its okay, mama, he will survive this! i would just tell him in a casual way that doesn't put any weight on what other people think, that if he wants to touch his penis (or what-ever you would normally call it) that it is OKAY to do so. It is something that he can do in private like when he is using the bathroom or alone in his bedroom. I think the key thing is to let him know that it is OKAY for him to want to touch himself and then let him know WHERE it is appropriate for him to do so. i'm also not oppose to using the words, "its not socially acceptable to touch our private parts in public." he'll get it without you even mentioning that his teacher or class mates had a reaction to it. i'm sure other mamas here will have other ideas on how they would handle it and i want to hear those because my suggestion comes from a place of "imagining what i would do in the same situation," which means i am really just taking a guess at it! but i guess that is what we all do as parents! LOL! All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) |
I agree the teacher definitely should have told you about this sooo much earlier. Poor T, he doesn't even know. Kids totally do this all the time, I do think it's normal. Is he scratching? I mean, I don't know what all could be going on down there other than just curiosity, but just in case, do you think he could be itchy or something? Worth asking just in case to make sure it's nothing else.
I think you'll be able to address it without it being a big deal, good luck mama!
BleuRoo Handcrafted Sweetness
http://bleuroo.etsy.com