doesn't matter really. i have been a lurker and thought i might have an interesting thing to contribute for once...
got this cool book for mother's day, daily thoughts from the double h DL, as i call him, or his holiness the dalai lama.
wanna think with me? this one is so apropos in one part of my life right now:

today:
"i myself still become irritated and angry and use harsh words towards others. then, a few moments later when the anger has subsided, i feel embarrassed; the negative words are already spoken, and there is no way to take them back. although the words have been uttered and the sound of voice has ceased to exist, their impact still lives on. hence, the only thing i can do is to go to the person and apologize, isn't that right?"

hmmmm.

i use harsh words very rarely. when i do, i don't usually feel embarrassed, (i am less evolved than the double h DL, obviously) but i usually second guess myself. was that necessary? and my answer to myself is almost always "no", but damn it felt right at the time. speaking of buddhism, i have long practiced the idea of not venting anger, but noticing it and acknowledging its purpose. then i can learn from it. most of the time, what i learn is that it pisses me right the fuck off when i am feeling misunderstood. i think it is mostly because it makes me feel alone to be "gotten" the wrong way. i don't like that. so, embarrassed? no. but always curious about what made me feel that harsh words were the way to go. then, i usually try and take myself away from a person or situation in which i am feeling that way. i guess that is my response to anger, my own that is. figure out where it is coming from inside of me and then protect myself from its trigger outside of me.
i was also thinking about the way i react to people being angry with me. maybe this is a spill over from my professional "self", but i usually have no problem with people being angry around me, with me, or whatever. i mean, i really don't have a reaction anymore. it used to make me feel indignant, defensive, or of course, angry right back at them. now, when a person in my life is angry with me, i want to know why, talk about it, etc. unless i feel that the person is just nutty. then, i skip the talking part and detach as much as possible.
how do you act when you feel angry? what do you think about anger as an emotion? do you think it is always destructive? or can it be positive sometimes too? do you feel as a female that your anger is seen as unhealthy or ahem, unbecoming? how do you feel about people letting you know that they are angry with you?