Ava is 3.5 and Lily is 2 and holy shit, they are demons right now. If I am not disciplining Ava for her fresh mouth, I am disciplining Lily for pulling her sister's hair, hitting, etc. I am so tired of trying to keep my cool, be positive, that this weekend, I lost it. Half of it was my frustration that since going back to work, I miss them terribly and I do not want to spend my time fighting with them; the other half is no matter if I'm at work or at home, I still want to raise good people and I do not want to fall into the trap of faltering as a parent because I feel guilty. So while both were screaming at the top of their lungs, I crumpled to the floor, screamed and started to cry. (I should say this is not the first time, but it has not happened in a very long time.) They both stopped and were somewhat quiet. DH came in, gave me a huge hug, and finished where I left off. Augh, this parenting stuff is hard!
I know there is so much transitioning going on for all of us, with me going back to work, but I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening, mamas and vent away....