courage of conviction...the holes are still there

"""i am a passionate, opinionated, well-read, highly educated person. i am also an incorrigible smart ass, and i can be a real bitch when i choose to. every day, if i look, i can see another reason to choose not to"""

Me too.

I think it gets confusing around here though at times. I mean, I posted a picture that I thought was funny (a very fat man strolling naked on the beach with a VERY small penis)
and I was BLASTED on how cruel it was to make fun of someone who is fat and, "penis challenged". This week, someone posted a link to pictures of black "cartoon" children morphed into pseudo Louis Vuitton bags and that was ok because she's black and thought it was funny? I was disturbed to see kids portrayed that way (even in jest but that's just me) and hey, I've got a fat ass so I should be able to post fat pictures too right? Actually, no, I should not be able to (at least not here in the general form) and I understand that now, BUT it does get CONFUSING and I think that is where a lot of blogs go awry and people get labeled as "this and That". What is offensive, etc to some.
I, personally, stay away from race blogs and Brook Shields PPD here on HM, because like you, I've learned the hard way. It's just easier for me and I'm much happier here if I stay that course.

I've been here long enough now to have seen many "blogs" get nasty and I do believe a lot of mamas never do "let" go of their resentments toward that particular mama and they always seem to resurface later on. Some do "bury the hatchet" though so that's cool. KUDOS to you for working it out with the mama you had in down with! It has not always been that easy for me, but I'm from a big Irish family and we're still working out the North and South.
Smooch!

You know, I had a similar experience with a hipmama that I worked it out with too....

Yeah, I know what you mean. As I tell my DH, you are not speaking into a vacuum. Just because it was said and then apologized for, (or deleted when it is here), it does not go away.

It doesn't mean that people on here need to bring it up every time you show up. Or make snarky comments at you.

It also means that people who repeatedly make the same kinds of mistakes over and over again should maybe look behind them and see the holes they have left, and stop making excuses and claiming how much they have learned while making digs at the people they have repeatedly hurt in back handed apologies full of excuses. Not talking about anyone specifically, just talking about frequent patterns.

It also doesn't mean you have the freedom to bring it up and play the victim card but not want anyone to mention what you said and why it was so destructive, in their opinions.

These are not directed toward the most recent incidents or necessarily the people involved, because I have been studying, working, and applying to med school and I truly have no idea what happened this time, but I can imagine it is the same crap and may even involve some of the same old players. Just like Mercury has posted less and less, and is avoiding certain topics, I stayed away even before I was so busy because of these holes in our community and I know many others who have posted less or left for similar reasons.

I am sarcastic and can have a bizarre sense of humor, but I try to leave it out completely in these discussions. I have told my son this and I truly believe it. The more furious the person has, usually the more likely it is that the person is wrong. I learned as a debater years ago that the sarcastic bullying exploder is never the one the judges go for.

Sunflower the unflower

My Tinfoil Hat

"i think that HM has helped me more than anything to do that."
yes yes yes. its unbelievable how much i've grown, in all aspects, in the past three years that i've been here. actually, in the past two years, because i just lurked the first year, and i didn't learn anything by standing on the sidelines, not getting called on my shit.
i love this thread punkmama, and i love your voice here.

"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." - Nietzsche

having missed this round of infammatory words and revoked statements -- oh wait, were they revoked? or as i am understanding things just removed? - i have nothing to say about THAT particular carp

but as to what Punky is saying -- it doesn't help anything to pull a post because "shit is slung", all that does is remove the phrases and replies from the public view it does not remove the "damage" doen to the community and the folks involved in the fray

again i did not read anything that went down this time, BUT i am sure I do NOT have to to know the basics

while i soo agree that we should seriosuly THINK before we post we ALL know soemtimes we post to rant or ramble and thoughts are not always so clear or concise AND sometimes we NEED that

BUT ALSO we the readers of blogs need to keep a distance from the topics as UNLESS THEY ARE DIRECTED AT YOU they are NOT & that can be dificult when we the readers feel an affinity to the topic in any way, or a personal "investment" in a belief

these are BLOGS, mama dears -- these are written for a variety of raesons -- soemtimes to ask for discussion to be sure BUT even then --

well soemthing that happened to me in real life comes to mind -- i was approached at a party {where i knew very few people and the ones i did i knew only surfacely, much less than i know many of YOU} by a new mother who i felt a little cornered by when she learned i had 4 kids and she wanted to keep picking my brain, i answered her questions in what i belived were casual conversational ways, by no means was i trying to "impart my knowledge" as if it were WORD and i was trying to talk to others so i was keeping it light and basic, well bits & pieces were over heard and judged, someone else referred to me as "the know-it-all"

this other person was judging my part of the converstaion biased by her own feelings instaed of viewing the entire dialogue for what it had been and how it had been begun, i was in shock to learn she had taken my words that way

often mamas on the boards are misread and what to them is seemingly casual or definetely non threatening or attacking blows up into a real shitstorm -- and it is no one's job to be the "expert" on anything here & we shouldn't make anyone feel as if she should be NOR judge anyoen by SAYING she IS being that -- at that party i was only being polite & answering the questions i was asked because i felt it would be rude to NOT give this new mother my pov

we do need to realize the mamas on here are only humans and ABOVE that they are MAMAS -- over-worked, under appreciated and our generation is also "burdened" with trying to manuever thru new issues in parentinga nd relating, never before have we had to deal with some of these topics and we have not been taught how to cope or "properly" discuss these things

we are learning, we are forging new understandings and BECAUSE of THAT we need to be more lenient and more understadning of each other when trying to unravel these VERY hot topics

REMEMBER the woman behind the words you see before you when you log on is ANOTHER mama who is living her life the best she can, maybe w/o enough sleep, w/o enough emotional support, w/o the having walked in YOUR shoes & you have not walked in hers

the t-i-m-e time.

"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." - Nietzsche

"Actually, no, I should not be able to (at least not here in the general form) and I understand that now, BUT it does get CONFUSING and I think that is where a lot of blogs go awry and people get labeled as "this and That"

Catmama, from the deepest of my heart, I am saying this in the spirit of love and good intention, I have watched you over the past few years lash out horribly on anyone who has ever challanged you on your view of the world. Everytime you have said something or put something out there that has hurt or offended someone you have accused them of having an ulterior motive in finding offence in your words. Have you ever taken a step (like reading a book, or a website about racism) towards making this un confusing for yourself? You are missing out on some incredible 'teaching' moments here.

* I blame men *

eom

that I've been hanging out here today for the first time in a long time, and I've been impressed with much of what you wrote. Thank you.
As a side note...I delete all of my blogs after a while, though I have them saved in other spaces. There are too many people trolling and lurking here for my comfort. I have also deleted blogs 2 times...one because I felt like it had gotten out of control with arguing, and the other because I felt like I shouldn't have said what I said. On both counts, your point is well taken, and you have prompted me to think about it in the future.
"The Universe Molds Itself To Prove Your Beliefs"

I think it's rather sad that read,educate yourself is spouted and then when i look up a definition because the one posted was completely different from what i thought the definition was and i get ridiculed. interesting dynamics.
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss