where so many of us are attacked and killed by so many of them, i wouldn't say it's weird at all. i think a lot of us would do well to asknowledge our own fear in this way. it doesn't mean you're hating them or consicously think that they will hurt you, but that your defenses are up. and again i think in our culture maybe our defenses should be up a lot of the time. you didn't know him, he didn't earn your trust, he's not allowed to touch you, no matter how benign he may think it is. he doesn't decide when it's benign, you do. and it doesn't make you less of a woman or more fearful that you didn't let him. you asserted your boundaries. i would totally prefer that to you letting yourself be touched when you're not comfortable with it.

Do you have issues with women touching you too, or is it just purely men? If a woman tries to hug you, do you embrace that, or do you kind of just stand there while she hugs you?
The reason I am asking is because I know many people who were sexually abused when they were younger. It seems that they will swing one of two ways: either they long to be touched all of the time, or they abhor being touched at all. I just wanted to add this, just because if you do have something like this in your history, it is "normal", but it may help you to be healthier if you look into some counseling for it.
That aside, I think it's really healthy to be touched, but everyone is different. There are all kinds of touching that are not intimate, but they still offer a greater energy exchange than words can offer. If you can allow yourself to be open to non-intimate touching, I think it helps alleviate stress, and just plain helps people to be more calm.
I also think that you have to trust your intuition. If you feel like something is wrong with a certain person, you probably don't want that person to touch you. The issue is whether or not your intuition is making you feel wrong about it, or whether past baggage is.
My friend has severe issues with being touched by women or men, but it was definitely much stronger with men. She got some referrals from other female friends for a male massage therapist. It took all that she had to go and get the massage, but she loved it. She makes a point of going at least once a month to see him. I think that has helped her a lot, esp. with trust issues and recognizing that each person is different, regardless of gender. I think that this is a really good idea, as long as you don't have past abuse issues.
"I am not dead yet! I can still call forth a piece of soul and set it down in color, fixed forever." Keri Hulme

It is reasonable to be wary of men, seeing as to how they do what, 99% of the raping and murdering of women and children. and while I don't feel that most men would attack and rape a woman they don't know, I do feel that most men do not understand that unwanted sex with a woman they are married to, dating, or even casual friends with is rape.

Also, men tend to misinterpret body signals, like they take a smile for an invitation or friendly behavior for flirtation. I learned the hard way to be very careful of my body language around men. Unfortunately it is on us women to watch them as much as possible in this regard, because they overwhelmingly won't watch or monitor themselves. They hold us responsible for and blame us for their own reactions to us...if they find us attractive then they feel we are responsible for inciting that response in them. Once I understood that this is a deeply ingrained cultural belief in most cultures that most men themselves feel, I no longer felt bad for watching my back around them and being very clear, vocal if need be, about them respecting my body space.

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but who can you really trust? not that many when it comes down to it....sad to say. i think it's totally fine to say what you need to say even if there is no smile. neutral is good, but even if you look pissed, then whatever, maybe your response is right on. go with your gut.

I don't trust a lot of men. Its not that I neccesarily think they are bad people, its that at 30 years old I have seen enough go down to want to get to know someone a bit before I trust them. A lot of men have issues with women who have clear boundries that they will assertively protect. Most men really aren't used to that because most women are raised that it isn't polite or nice to be assertive so they go along with stuff they aren't comfortable with to protect men's feelings. When you have been in situations with men where your boundries have been crossed even if the men didn't know that they were even crossing them, resentment and mistrust can build up which maybe might lead to some aggressive feelings.

There is nothing wrong with telling anyone at anytime not to touch you. If the person reacts badly it is on them, not you. Learning to be assertive (not aggressive) takes work but is worth doing. Once you feel confident in your ability to make yourself be heard, have your boundries respected without getting aggresive you can pretty much be comfortable in most situations.

I used to be that way a bit. Now I have my cool back. I tell them to back off, but I'm laughing when I do it. This gets the point across, helps them save face, and ultimately usually avoids any real ugliness. If a guy gets aggressive or weird (they can, when they've been drinking) I usually wander off as quickly as I can.

I try to remember that a lot of guys are just insecure / have something to prove and while this doesn't excuse shitty behavior, at least it helps me to see the scared / nasty little boy inside. If you're not careful getting out of these awkward situations quickly they will either A. get aggressive, or B. (worse) bore the shit out of you explaining how they didn't mean the comment "in that way" or were just guessing your height or whatever. I just move the conversation along as quickly as possible. It works.

I am also no longer "scared" of my promiscuity or bad choices and I no longer feel I am "obligated" to give a guy anything. That helps.

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outta control crafty