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third trimester bluesSubmitted by sylvia_p on Wed, 05/03/2006 - 12:52pm.
let me warn you that this is about sex. well lack thereof actually. i don't know what the heck i am doing. maybe it's because i was 5 years younger during my first pregnancy and wasn't taking care of a child already while working, but i don't remember it being this uncomfortable. and by uncomfortable, i don't mean painful...maybe awkward is a better word. i am a little bigger than i was the first time and i am not a big person to begin with, but everytime i climb on top of DH i feel like i am smothering him and i get embarassed. i can actually feel my face burning. there is no good position i can come up with for our very limited foreplay that doesn't result in my reflux acting up other than me just laying there on my side. it gets pretty old pretty quick. we haven't had sex in two weeks, which to me isn't that big of a deal. my urges aren't coming as frequently as they used to, but i honestly feel bad for him. i'm in the middle of my 32nd week, so that is going to be a long dry spell for him if i cut it off now. i don't want to cut it off now, but i just feel so awkward and clumsy. i feel like a beached whale next to his skinny tall body and there is absolutely nothing sexy in my mind about how i look. he feels differently, he has said nothing to make me feel like he finds me less attractive, it's all in my head. i find myself putting the body pillow between us so there is no way he could reach over and start something and i feel awful about it especially since this is my body issue and nothing he's done. aaccckkk. I haven't felt sexy or remotely attractive either. I don't get jealous, but I found I have since I stopped being nothing but big. Everything's big, it seems, and swollen almost. My thighs are my least favorite part right now. What if they don't go back?! "Religion is for people who are afraid of hell. Spirituality is for right now I feel too tired to have sex. The first time I was pregnant I didn't have to take care of a two year old so I had a lot more energy and enthusiasm for sex, this time around I would pick a hot bath or a nap over sex hands down everytime. Part of me feels sad about this because I remember really enjoying pregnant sex the last time. Mr sauce is also pretty worn out these days so we really aren't getting it on like we should. We are cuddling a lot though and that has been really intimate and nice. All I can say is RELAX. I am sure you are a beautiful pregnant woman. We all feel somewhat whale-like towards the end. Don't pressure yourself too much over sex. Have you talked with him about it?
I am going through a similar thing, though my drive took a turn for the toilet in my second trimester! Everyone told me that I would be so horny that W. would be sick of sex! I have been trying very hard to treat myself kindly and to not see myself through my own eyes. When W. looks, he's all wild eyed and rarring to go, but when I look, I see stretch marks and a big ol' belly. I forget that I am still beautiful, maybe even more beautiful because I am creating a baby! thank you. i've kind of talked to him...it's hard for me to express myself sometimes. he tells me i'm nuts for thinking i am unattractive and he always says that if i'm not comfortable then it isn't a big deal we don't have to have sex, but i still feel bad. that I loved doin it doggie style...alot, during my last trimester. I never liked it before that - I felt too exposed - but when I discovered how good it was I couldn't get enough. BD couldn't be happier. |
but does sex have to be penetration? Can you do "other" things to pleasure him?
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