So, last night S went into the bathroom to use her potty. She had on a diaper so when she came out, she had nothing on and was running around with her T-shirt on with no bottoms.
My MIL and SIL/BIL and their three kids were over. Their kids are boys 7 and 5 and a girl 18 months.
It was utter and pure chaos. The kids - after sitting at the table for the seder - were so excited to be released that they were wild - laughing and running and jumping and just generally being kids.
I was in the kitchen doing damage control so the dog didn't get up on the table and the next thing I hear is my MIL telling me that S was "showing the boys her privates."
S is two.
What my MIL was all in arms about was S running around with no bottoms on. And her word choice was purely alarmist. She was very clear that she didn't like that and was worried that my child was going to "warp" her cousins since they could see her privates.
I looked her staight in the eye and told her she was worrying about nothing. I told her that I think it is a lot healthier for her male cousins to see female anatomy in a natural non-sexual familial fashion than it was to for them to look at airbrushed bodies in Playboy when they are 11 years old!
(Only afterwards did it dawn on me that I should have told her if she was so damn concerned that she could step in and help Sophie put on a diaper. But that is a whole other story).
S is at a stage right now where she likes to be naked. She also likes to touch herself. We are working on explaining to her that being naked feels good and is just fine but that is something we generally do in private or just with family. Ha. Apparently she views her cousins as family since the last two times she has seen them she has gotten naked.
I felt good about the way I handled it. I didn't get mad. I didn't get upset. I stated my position calmly and conversationally.
I am going to do my damndest to raise a girl with a healthy body image. What kind of 50's parenting bs is that - that she was going to "warp" the boys if they saw her naked!
Comments
I think you should have
I think you should have gotten naked with her and pranced around. No J/K but really she's just from a different generation. WE all know there was nothing wrong with her running around like that and like you said if it bothered her that much she should have put a diaper on her.
Jessica
There's someone in my head, but it's not me........Pink Floyd
Jessica
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~~Dr.Seuss
Aaaach!
So the female form WARPS boys?! this is the warmup to "she asked for it" later in life, right? You did great, it is inspiring to hear about how you stood firmly and dealt with it so directly and calmly. Way to go mama!
totally generational. and
totally generational. and you handled it like the stellar mom that you are.
she sounds like a handful and, from what you've blogged about in the past, seems like she's in your face no matter what. just add this one to the list. hopefully, you can laugh about it with your DH. but they're weird about their moms, so maybe not. at least mine is...
good call. Little kids never
good call. Little kids never care about stuff like that, it is only the crazy adults who do.
"showing her privates to the boys" oh please. At this age kids have no idea that anyone would particulary react to "privates" more than they would an elbow.
*petty thief extraordinaire*
* I'm all fight and no flight *
My mom has the same attitude
So far, she has yelled at me for showing immediate family members naked pictures of ds in the bath (he was two months old), and has gotten her panties in a twist b/c my cousin changed her daughter's diaper in a room where there were some adult male cousins (her daughter was 6 mos. at the time). Her warped rationale is: the kids might be embarrassed later to know that the whole family has seen them naked. Um, excuse me, but they're BABIES.
I think you handled the situation beautifully. These ladies can be a real challenge sometimes.
"There ain't no devil, it's just God when he's drunk." - Tom Waits
screw her - let the good
screw her - let the good times roll!
yeah,
you did handle it well. you can't get upset about other people's ignorance, that's their problem. my response woulda been, "you'd prefer she hide them?" and i would make fun of her to my kid. but that's immature little me. we've actually done that. "did you hear that? grandma's so silly!"
“Blessed are the meek." You bet! I love 'em too! I tell 'em to kiss my ass, and they'll kiss it." ~~ Kurt Vonnegut
"You know, i could write a book. And this book would be thick enough, to stun an ox." -- Laurie Anderson
It's funny what people get
It's funny what people get all worked up about, isn't it? One of my favorite quotes from my MIL is, "Don't you warp that sweet baby!" DD was just an infant and DH and I were...I don't even remember what prompted her to say it. We were just being our usual wacky selves. DH and I say it to each other sometimes in a funny old lady voice. Another time, my mom called me (again, DD was an infant) just to tell me that she "had a thought." She wondered if maybe DH's large colorful paintings all over the apartment were what was making DD hyperactive! Ha! How ridiculous. How can an infant be hyperactive anyway? Fucked up.