My wishes for you all for the New Year:

May peace and love fill you
May peace and love sorround you
May a wish you didn't know of come true
May there be laughter every day
May your creativness be like a fountain
May you be blessed by Godfather, Mother Earth, the Universe or whom you believe in or even better by all of them

Call me crazy, stupid, whatever.
We stopped with the vaginal ring because we no longer had sex. That was the first sunday in advent. We had sex the next monday and wednesday. So a week ago. Already tuesday morning I felt pregnant. Is that possible? In the very beginning of the cycle? I feel tired, I feel nauseous sometimes. And I am convinced I'm pregnant. I consider making a test next week. Or would it better to wait if the next menstrual period should come?
Does anybody know?
I would so love to be preggo. Vibe me!

When you read the cristmas story in the bible you (as a mom) will miss one thing: No one speaks of the midwife.-- read more >>

Malin was born almost two and a half year ago. Now I think it's time to write down her/our birth story.
I had planned things completly different from what happened. I wanted a waterbirth but I got no chance.-- read more >>

Dear, how are you doing? I am thinking a lot of you these days. Hope you are well.

Well, no rock'n'roll isn't quite correct. Malin is rocking our live enough.
No drugs - one or two glasses wine a month doesn't count. I drink neither whisky nor vodka. I gave up smoking virginia cigarettes, pies and cigarillos. I gave it all up easily. When I am old I will take out my pipes and smoke again.-- read more >>

DD has some problems with her legs for the last weeks. Sometimes in the evening the knees hurt, sometimes she points to the femoral. I had the doctor look at it, for security's sake, it is probably just hurting because she is growing. On the other hand she is right now developing to a new level. Her paintings have changed in the last week, it is amazing. She has started constructing them, combining lines and circles and writing Es (in the wrong direction because she seems to be lefthanded). Her mouth is not standing still, she's talking all day long. Her way of dancing changed.-- read more >>

DD is already whistling. At 2,5 years, that is quite early, isn't it? And she is so interested in letters, already knowing the "E", the "Q" and the "O". Has anyone of you experiences with teaching letters at that age? Don't know if it would be appreciated by kindergardeners or teachers, but if she wants to, why not? Or?

Ladies, she died after her last concert yesterday. One of the most wonderful voices is now silent.

Two weeks ago I had an afternoon and half an evening off. I was sitting with a colleague to plan for our children-daycare, so DH had to put DD to bed. He did so and she asked him to sing. She is used to a song because I am always singing for her. DH did as he was begged and sang. DD was laughing so hard that she had to take the pacifier out of the mouth. And DSS who was with us that weekend was standing in the kitchen at the window and trembling for laughter. No one could (or DH didn't want to) tell me what he has sung.-- read more >>

I found that in my email:

A teacher in Elmira, New York, who is a McCain supporter, asked her 4th
grade class, 'How many of you are McCain fans?' Not really knowing what
a McCain fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids
raised their hands, except for Little Johnny Cohen.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different.
Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a McCain fan.' The teacher asked,
'Why aren't you a McCain fan?' Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Democrat.'
The teacher asked him why he's a Democrat. Little Johnny answered,-- read more >>

Here's to you, lady!

Ik heff di dat seggt

Ik heff di dat seggt,
dat ik dat nich wull,
man du hest nich op mi hört.

Du hest dat nich glöövt,
dat ik dat nich wull,
un hest dat maakt ane mi.

Un so is dat jümmers west,
dat du nich op mi hörst
un mi nich glöövst.

Nu is dat över,
nu is dat vörbi.
Ik licht mine Flögels
un fleeg ane di.

I told you so

I told you so
that I didn't want to,
but you didn't listen to me.

You didn't believe
that I didn't want to,
and you did it without me.

And it's always been like that,
you not listening to me-- read more >>

I thought I type some of my poems here. I write them in Low-Saxon normally, sometimes even in swedish. For the translation into english I have to thank Ron Hahn from Seattle. So here is the first one:

Ik föhl me as'n Insel,
wied buten in de See.
Eennsam un öd
mang dat Water.
De Storms suust
um mi rüm,
de Wellen danst
op mienen Klippen.
Ik wünsch,
dat ik een Blinkfüer harr
op mien Rügg,
dat ik Besök kreeg.

I feel like an island
far out in the sea.
Lonely and desoltae
amid the water.
Storms keep whizzing
around me.
Waves keep dancing on my cliffs.
I wish-- read more >>

DH has an invitation for an interview on friday, 31st. Vibe us that he gets the job (if paid well enough). It would be about a kind of gardening for a community. I am SO excited!
And keep on vibing me for my plans with that day-care.

Well, I wasn't even lurking for a while. Anybody miss me? (Fishing for compliments, heh?) There was so much going on.
But first congrats to Yogini's little daughter for her first anniversary, even if it has passed for a time!
And congrats to all of your babies you grew older since I posted the last time!-- read more >>

I started a course in may to become a specialist for early-age-pedagogics. We learn everything about children of the age 0 - 3 years, how to teach them, how to documentate their development, how they develop and so on. We are mostly women (one single man between us, poor guy!), nice ladies altogether, most of us mothers and most of us working with children 3 - 6 years in kindergartens. I am making that course in the hope to have a better chance to get a job.-- read more >>

Are you still lurking here? I cannot take a look at your blog and I miss you! I hope everything is well with you and DD, and there are no problems with BD any longer.

since I married. And today we got the pics. I put one in the attachment. It was pretty cold that day, so I am a heroine!

And the grat goes to:

(silence, please!)

You, mamas!

I just felt the need of saying thank you to you all. Here is place where we all find someone who listens, where we can vent, in good times and in bad times. I am deeply grateful for that!

What a night. DD had a long nap yesterday afternoon, a siesta of at least two and a half hours. That has been too long as it seems. She couldn't fall asleep in the evening and in the night she awoke crying. I couldn't bring her back to sleep in her own bed so at about two in the morning I decided to take her to our bed. DH had to rise for work at five o'clock and from that moment on DD wasn't sleeping any longer. A seagull cried in the backyard and that was the signal for her to be awake. And I was still so sleepy, I badly wanted to sleep. And now I am tired and sad and angry.-- read more >>

1. Never ever paint your appartment/house/room when you have to watch your two old child. Take the chance to let someone else do the work or look after the toddler. You cannot do both things at the same time. Colors are wonderful for children. But eating them is mostly no good idea. And if you renovate a house/an appartment/a room you want the color on the walls not on or in your child. On the other hand: Because you have to watch your child you cannot work. It takes you so much more time to paint two rooms that, without the child, you would have painted one more room.-- read more >>

Some of you must have vibed me because my move was so easy and smoothe. No stress, nothing going wrong, good weather (a bit too warm, maybe), DD a sweetheart, nothing broken. Now I own my time to unpack my books, the last of my clothes, papers, and so on. But that has no big hurry. Now that the weather is changing (at least for some days) I'll have time enough.

It's incredible she is two years old today! Isn't it amazing how happens, how strong they develop and grow in such a short time? One day you have your baby in your arm and then - all in a sudden - she runs, talks, laughs. I wish I could stop time from running by so fast. She is so cute, so strong, so curious.

DD just came and said to me: "Hörauf amit" ("Stop it"). It comes back as a boomerang to me. I tell her that far too much. As well as "weiter" ("go on"), "komm" ("come on"). You hear from your children what you tell them. I am ashamed even if I cannot avoid that expressions...

Not for me but for a friend of mine. She is 57 and has gone (or is on her way) through the worse thing a mama can go through. She lost her only son. Seven years ago, when he was 26, he sat an end to his live. He left no letter, no explanation why. He just went out one day in february with his bike and a rope to a bridge in the middle of Berlin and hang himself. No one knows why. He was an artist (stage designer) and maybe as sensitive as his mother (herself a photographer and an artist). His live seemed to be good and successfull.-- read more >>