New Years Resolutions, 2009'...-- read more >>

This is the best Christmas day I ever had.

- Max-- read more >>

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To our lovely redmomma! Hope you are having a crazy fun day with yer beautiful family, redmomma. Sending out the fun vibes right now!

Dear Other Love's of My Life,

House in order - check. Hal cleaned up downstairs and I should be able to handle cleaning the upstairs area in small increments throughout the day.

Max is at school, Bella and I have been playing all morning, and the house is being very patient as she continues to wait for my attention.

I’m going to take a small break. The holiday season is busy and I’m feeling a little disgruntled with this mode of sharing stuff. This too shall pass, I’m sure. Prolly sooner rather than later, as I’m addicted to writing.

Happy holidays!

Love,-- read more >>

Writing about guilt and shame turned out to be really productive. The “meaning of it all” dawned on me in the middle of the night. My shame and guilt has everything to do with my physical limitations. I hate feeling limited. I hate that I can’t knit because my stupid hands will start to hurt. I hate that I can’t run because my ankles or knee joints may twist and turn themselves into a pit of pain.-- read more >>

So, I’ve had a pretty lazy, unproductive day week. The kind of week that I try to have at least, uuuh, every week. I’m pretty successful at it, clocking in at least a solid three lazy days, per week. My life is going to turn upside down once I start working outside the home. And by this I mean to say, I am in no hurry to work outside the home.-- read more >>

I wanted to let everyone know, Hal has been the backbone in our family on vegan and vegetarian health and recently he found this: Dr. Fuhrman's DHA Purity 100% Vegan for Bella and Max. He read that DHA Omega 3 can often help children with eczema (but the research needs to go further to prove a solid connection). He figured, what the hell, we've tried everything else for Bella, why not try this too?-- read more >>

Our home holiday fare consisted of a vegan/wheat/gluten free lasagna, which was delicious (believe it or not!), and a warm multigrain loaf of bread. We cooked, bickered over ingredients and when to start this or that part of the preparations in order to have it all ready to be layered, and enjoyed our children running around the house playing chase. The bickering while cooking, apparently, is a part of our yearly tradition as well. One that Hal can remember dating back to our days in Chicago! We’ll have to work on changing that tradition. -- read more >>

We are still trying to work out our own holiday traditions in my house. I didn’t grow up with any traditions. Every year was unpredictable (ah, life with a schizophrenic mother). Hal did have traditions so he is on board with trying to create our own. Our default tradition is to alternate who’s home we go to each year for the holidays: my parents or his. This year its his parent’s turn. I HATE THIS. It always feels like, we are waiting for "the day to begin” before leaving our abode to go to another home where Thanksgiving really begins.-- read more >>

I use on-line banking the way people use their written records for their check book. Only, I realized today that this is a really fucking BAD IDEA. A couple reasons. One, if I check my account tonight and it shows that I have five things in my “queue” that will go through at midnight, and $50.00, left after that stuff goes through - I think GREAT. I have enough money to cover the items that will go through tonight. I’ll just check it tomorrow to see what, if anything, is in the queue and if $50.00, is enough to cover it. If not, then I’ll make a deposit.-- read more >>

what do you think about your family members wanting to take only one of your children at a time in order to spend time with them?-- read more >>

I've decided to eat vegan for health reasons (the ethical reasons no longer have the same motivating affect on me as they did when I was in my early 20's, and I'm so out of practice that eating this way is hard). I made it to the fourth day, Thursday. I hit a food wall and ate pizza for dinner. The affects of cheese and bread on my body are noticeable and irritating. My sinuses plugged up and my sleep last night wasn't solid, I tossed and turned all night.-- read more >>

I’m excited to record this fact, even as I record it I want to pinch myself because I find it hard to believe this is indeed a Fact and not Fantasy.

-- read more >>

A walk around the circle. A sit in the park. We talk and reminisce and laugh like ladies who’ve known each other for years. We three have known one another for years. The company is lovely and comfy. The speak is easy.-- read more >>

I took Max and Bella to Liz’s house today for a visit. It was a short and sweet visit with their honorary Auntie upon which Max received a birthday gift. Since my children have both gotten older, I have become more relaxed while in homes that are not homes of another toddler. However, I was quickly reminded when discovering Bella had two small decorative rocks in her mouth that I prolly should not be too relaxed.-- read more >>

Bella is really coming into her own. She understands everything we say to her, and responds like an ABSOLUTE angel (enjoying it while I can!). Her snuggling is Top Notch and her face, OH MY GAWD, I could just eat her up. She talks a lot but I'd say less than Max did at her age. She talks enough to get her point across and when I repeat what she said back to her she will nod in agreement and try to say it again. I am also finding her demeanor makes her a true pleasure to be around.-- read more >>

Hal took Max to a doctors appointment this morning for his 4 year old check up. Bella and I stayed home to chill together. My mom left this morning without incident during her stay. I didn’t expect one, per say, its more the aftermath of her visit that concerns me. When she gets home and has time to stew over all she heard and saw. When she’s taken all that her senses remember and turned my life into something, anything, wrong and sinful. However, I’m not going to spend any time worrying about it - no more time than it took for me to express it here, anyway.-- read more >>

Friday, after some unnecessary stress the night before, I pulled off a nice little birthday celebration at Max's school with all his classmates. Cupcakes and gift bags fully assembled the night before and gift bags waiting in the van for easy leaving in the morning. It was nice to be a part of Max's regular school day. Bella stayed home with Grammy (my mom). Watching him go through his day and helping the teacher where she needed, left me feeling as though I could definitely home school if I so choose.-- read more >>

Dear Max,

Today, you are turning four! Happy birthday my sweet boy.

Two weeks old.-- read more >>

Today, four years ago, I went into labor with my first child, Max. Four years ago, I could not imagine what he would be like as a four year old. Today, I can't imagine a more lovable four year old. Here is the story of his birth:

Saturday morning, November 6th, I got up around 11am, went to the bathroom and noticed a jelly-like clear goop after wiping. It was my mucus plug! The little barrier covering my cervix fell out. Woo hoo! I called my midwife and birth team.

Hal was like, “Oh my gawd, should I go to work today?!”-- read more >>

Ah, its fun being in a body that has CRAZY hormone shifts throughout the month. Any tea remedies you know of to help this? I’m willing to give tea a try if I only have to make it once or twice a month. Normally I find it annoying to prepare. And even moreso to drink. And the people who drink it…

Please help. I fear for my husband’s life. My friendships. My kid's love of me! TEa! I need a magic tea!

PS: I really love tea drinkers. Please impart your wisdom on me!

mellow drama/whoa is me ahead...-- read more >>

The humdrum of life. Nurse Bella. Get up. Drink two cups of Joe. Watch the news as I check my e-mail. Read a few blogs. Wake Max up. Get the kids breakfast. Get dressed. Brush everyone’s teeth (except Hal, he’s got that on his own). Get Max dressed for school. Take Max to school. Come home. Deal with house stuff (bug guy was here). Read more blogs. Fry up some potatoes for Bella and I. Change Bella's nappy. Eat potatoes. Watch most recently recorded shows - Californification and Dexter. Pause the show periodically to snuggle and play with Bella.-- read more >>

We went out to Hunsader Farm today for their annual Pumpkin Festival. Waiting to park was like waiting to get into Disney. During that hour, I got to know Papa Hal a little better. One thing is for certain about relationships, never assume the way it is, is actually the way it is - even after you’ve been with your partner for nearly 15 years. There are so many layers to people that it MUST take a lifetime to get to them all. For you and for them. And even after a lifetime, I'm not so certain one can know them all.-- read more >>

Holy moly macaroly, Hal and I went out last night. TOGETHER. We went to the Thai restaurant, Bangkok, with a group of friends. (I kid you not, that is the name, pronounced: Bang-Cock, unless we've been pronouncing it wrong for all these years.) Present were old friends and relatively new faces: a paper conservationist and a furniture preservationist-something-or-rather. Art folk brought by Liz and welcomed by all. There were many moments where I felt my brain had that mushy mommy brain quality to it, but I didn’t care.-- read more >>