so, to paint a picture, i am sweeping and mopping while vincent naps in boxer shorts, a wifebeater (ok, ok, i know, i know. white men's sleeveless undershirt) and a rosie-the-riveter bandana keeping my hair up, with my ipod in the waistband of the boxers, listening to johnny cash. i have the box set love, god, murder...i was listening to love. it is probably important to know that i just watched the movie for the 8th time or so last weekend.
can i just pause to say that no drug addict i ever rescued (and there was more than one, including my illustrious ex-husband) EVER sang me anything like "way down the mountain, i chased a moonbeam, on the beach i built sandcastles too...my moonbeams faded, my castles tumbled, all of this was meaningless, cause happiness is you. no more chasing moonbeams, or catching falling stars. i know now my pot of gold is anywhere you are. my heart won't miss you, my heart goes with you, lonliness is emptiness, but happiness is you. i tried to doubt you, and live without you. tried to deny that i love you like i do. but i realize now, and i'll admit it, you'll always be a part of me cause happiness is you." well, technically JUNE wrote that song, but the crooning of it is so beautiful. i love this man.
this is an actual news story in the local paper.
where do i think i need to move? well, we have decided on los angeles, but at this point i would prefer outside of the US. i feel absolutely raw from being bombarded with christianity. what do you think the least religious region of the world is? i know when i lived in london there was a noticable lack of religiosity. probably because the british are too polite to bring anything like that up in mixed company. anyway, it is hard to deal with sometimes.
i love this mama, she welcomed my family into her home, fed us, took us to her park, helped me let vincent run free for the first time in his urban-dwelling-get-back-here life, did i mention FED US? mmmmm, creamy guacamole out of nothing but a gigantic avacado from ehr tree...yum yum yum homemade taquitos and all...my goodness. an hand made sweet things for me and for vincent, too. most of all i want to post an ode to mamanopj's becasue even though we are the same age, this mama is seasoned, relaxed, confident and a natural mama, i am grateful to have her as a mentor, a friend and an advisor. and soon, mamano, i WILL get up the guts to feed vincent carrots.
punkpapa and i were still living in my little bachlorette pad that he moved into with me a year before. we were working the same schedule then, normal day hours, so we would get up and have coffee and breakfast together every day and then i would drop him off at work then head to my job a few blocks away. we always watched good morning america and joked that the tv screen was like a window into the "normal" world, that we certainly didn't live in but liked to peep in on while packing our lunches, feeding the dog, etc. so we saw all of it live, or as live as it was when the second plane hit. i was woking at the time for a mental health clinic that was mobile and served the homeless in different shelters around the city; we were officed in the city funded homeless day shelter. punkpapa was working in a camera store in a weird underground mall system downtown. under a highrise, prominant in the skyline. i remeber not wanting him to go to work. i remember thinking i absolutely had to get to work. i also worked downtown and across from city hall. i wasn't worried about me, i was worried about all of our clients and how they were going to feel about the events, how they were going to cope with fear as the day unfolded...i remember how nobody felt safe because there was no way of knowing how many planes were going to hit how many buildings and where, or when. i do remember feeling vulnerable and wanting to talk to my sister in LA, and calling her several times. i went to work. i can't remember honestly, if punkpapa did. i think they evacuated the tower that he worked under and he stayed home. i went to work and dealt with alot of serious PTSD and psychosis triggered homeless people, had a couple of comic relief giggles with coworkers because so many of out schizophrenic clients were storming around saying "see! i told you they were gonna blow up the world!!" and then came home. i quickly became disgusted with the patriotic posturing of W. i had an argument with my mom very shortly afterwards, when the forst troops were being deployed to iraq, when she momentarily bought the bullshit, reminding her that she was a protesting activist during vietnam and what the hell was she thinking, believing the government. she snapped out of it quickly and we had some good discussions about how easy it can be to get caught up in the spin. in october i flew to DC for a conference on ending homelessness and the airport was full of armed national guards. DC was full of soldiers and cyclone fencing and you couldn't get anywhere near the monuments and that felt weird too.
with no time to blog them, i miss the outlet but i am so busy...
1. vin has a cold/allergies? snot factory. last night he finally slept through the night with the help if vicks baby rub and children's benadryl. i swear never to wait more than 24 hours again before i utilize actual medicine if my natural remedies aren't working. it isn't fair to vincent that i made him suffer for two days/nights doing herbal steams and not letting him drink milk. one day, then we go to relief from now on. he slept twelve hours last night and even though he is still snotty, he looks like my little boy again, not the haggard, blotchy, drawn little waif he looked like last night.
but since i can't attend what i am sure are superior sewing lessons, i just bought for 9.95 a 30 page skirt sewing tutorial from this site http://patternsthatfityou.com/Default.htm i was thinking of lapina, too...anyway, kelly, you should sell your tutorials online. you are already a webmaster, i can tell this from your blog.
anyhoo. just thought i would share.
i think i am going to get vincent a few pairs. its too hot here for pants but sometimes his legs get cold, also, i think these would be perfect for toilet training.
anybody have 'em? love "em? hate "em?